When you’re young, you dream of what you want to be. As you get older, you hope you can fill certain roles well. I wanted to be a good daughter, wife, mother and friend. I wanted to go to church and be a good Christian. I wanted to be good at whatever career I chose,Continue reading “Day 20: Inadequacy”
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Day 19: Frustrated
Being trapped in a body that’s going through cancer treatment creates one big fat frustrated feeling. I think the emotion resulted from a simmering down of anger, shock, sadness, anxiety and regret. I became mad about what I was feeling physically and how my life had changed. I was sick, upset, and extremely frustrated withContinue reading “Day 19: Frustrated”
Day 18: Embarrassed
On Day 18 of posts, I wonder in how many of the previous posts I’ve mentioned my hair loss. Quite a few, I think! It’s an impactful, distressing event. After a couple treatments, my hair was coming out in handfuls and getting all over everything. When I finally let my husband shave my head, IContinue reading “Day 18: Embarrassed”
Day 17: Resentful
When I was wrapped up in chemo for the first few months of breast cancer treatment, I tried to get through each day as best I could. I wasn’t too focused on the world around me. As May hit and I became aware that people were getting out and doing things, I felt resentful thatContinue reading “Day 17: Resentful”
Day 16: Awareness
I’ve made it through half of my blog posts, so it seemed like a good time to write something that’s a bit less about me and about a lot of other people, too many others, who have been affected breast cancer and other cancers. During my journey, I felt aware of what was going onContinue reading “Day 16: Awareness”
Day 14: Overwhelmed
Cancer and its treatments complicate life. I’d say, “understatement of the year,” but it’s been quite a year! When cancer comes at you, much of what happens is overwhelming. First, medical professionals are saying, “You have breast cancer.” The oncologist visits begin, and there are many appointments throughout the process. it’s about tests to goContinue reading “Day 14: Overwhelmed”
Day 13: Regret
Regret is a funny thing. I have regrets in life and feel embarrassed or stupid about some choices and actions from my past. When it comes to choices, though, if I’d made different ones, my life may have turned out differently. For example, when I first started taking graduate courses, I was offered an instructionalContinue reading “Day 13: Regret”
Day 12: Powerless
Powerless represents a feeling a lot of people have experienced in 2020. COVID-19 took hold, precautions were put in place, and we were told to stay at home. It changed nearly everyone’s lives, those with the disease, working in high risk jobs, and those who’ve sheltered in place. We’re still dealing with many of theContinue reading “Day 12: Powerless”
Day 11: Solitude
Alone with the diseaseMany hours lying down by myselfNot really wanting companyMy steadfast companion, my sweet dog, on my bedSo much support but still I feel aloneSo many people suffering like me but still feel itIn my Solitude Dealing with the sicknessThat comes with the treatmentTrying to hold my head upTrying to keep it togetherLosingContinue reading “Day 11: Solitude”
Day 9: Compassion
I don’t know where I’d rate on a scale for compassion. Sometimes, I’m so caught up in my own world and family that I don’t see other peoples’ hurt. I wish I did, and I’m working on it. As I went through my cancer battle and appreciated everyone’s kindness, I was exposed to more peopleContinue reading “Day 9: Compassion”